Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
