come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the day after is always just damage control
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
