She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
