I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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