"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
