no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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