Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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