I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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