i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
