Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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