need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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