it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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