I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
