I heard we made out
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
