He kissed a someone with a penis
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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