We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They have beer where we have blood.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
