I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's just like the Real World with babies
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
