so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We left the knife in your bed.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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