Can i not drive my cunt home
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
