it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
