Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
