Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
