I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
