Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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