i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
