someone owes me an orgasm
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
