Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
