Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
