if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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