Screwed.edu
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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