I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
