He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
