I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
