ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
