Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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