where does the pee come out of this thing
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
