Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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