Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There's always time for handjobs
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
