I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
