bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
