Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
