I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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