Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Drake has all the answers
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
