dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Found your dick twin last night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
