Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
