Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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