Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
