Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
