i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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