no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
whose ass print is on the piano?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
