it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
