Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
