i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
