how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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