He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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